Domestic violence are two words that, when put together, will leave most people cringing and sprinting in the opposite direction. We don't want to talk about something so disgusting because it makes us uncomfortable, right? Well, guess what? Forget all of that for just one second and think about this:
1 in every 3 women and 1 in every 4 men have experienced some sort of physical violence from an intimate partner within their lifetime.
Read it once more. Maybe a few more times.
That is a startling statistic and one that I wouldn't have known if I hadn't been willing to join the international conversation on domestic violence that has emerged in the past few weeks. While an immensely touchy subject, it's one that we as a society cannot afford to ignore. There are people who suffer on the daily and who feel ashamed and fearful of the consequences of speaking out instead of confident that they will be helped and that is a massive problem. Speaking out should not have consequences.
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| By: Anthony DeLuca Design |
Thankfully, in lieu of recent events, the conversation has begun. We have a string of prominent sports commentators, news anchors, celebrities, Youtubers, and normal men and women finally being willing to speak out about something has long-deserved a voice.
James Brown of CBS Sports, made this statement in conjunction with the Ray Rice incident:
"...this problem is bigger than football. There has been, appropriately so, intense and widespread outrage following the release of the video showing what happened inside the elevator at the casino. But wouldn’t it be productive if this collective outrage, as my colleagues have said, could be channelled to truly hear and address the long-suffering cries for help by so many women? And as they said, do something about it? Like an on-going education of men about what healthy, respectful manhood is all about.
And it starts with how we view women. Our language is important. For instance, when a guy says, ‘you throw the ball like a girl’ or ‘you’re a little sissy,’ it reflects an attitude that devalues women and attitudes will eventually manifest in some fashion. Women have been at the forefront in the domestic violence awareness and prevention arena. And whether Janay Rice considers herself a victim or not, millions of women in this country are.
Consider this: According to domestic violence experts, more than three women per day lose their lives at the hands of their partners. That means that since the night February 15th in Atlantic City [when the elevator incident occurred] more than 600 women have died."
Merdith Vieira, after explaining her own experience with domestic violence, took a stand and made this statement:
"We all have to accept the fact that it’s not just an issue with the NFL, it’s an issue with all of our lives... Until we take it seriously more and more women are going to get abused."
And Phillip W. Cook, author of "Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence" had this to say in reference to a Pepsi commercial after the Solange Knowles and Jay-Z incident:
“Do you think there wouldn’t be howls of protest if a man was doing that to a woman... Those kinds of images, and there are more than we realize, diminish the seriousness of violence against men and make violence by women seem acceptable and funny. That ultimately has an effect on how we view all violence... We need to be accurate about the information being supplied and treat it seriously."
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| Domestic Abuse Poster by MyCatIsACat on Imgur |
Domestic violence happens to women and men, and let that not go unknown. Sadly, it seems that gender still plays a factor in whether or not one incident is taken more seriously than the next and we, as a society, have a responsibility to deem that unacceptable. However, much of this mindset is due to the fact that women are still viewed as weaker and a man being hit by a woman is obviously comical because he's "supposed" to be stronger than her, am I right? As upset as people were at people for cracking jokes on social media about Ray and Janay Rice, hinting that his actions were excusable (they weren't), we should've been equally as upset about the Solange and Jay-Z trends that ran rampant on Twitter attached to sarcastic comments that hinted at her actions also being excusable (they also weren't). If we are to properly raise awareness and help as many victims of domestic violence as possible, we need to dig a hole, toss this double-standard into it and cover it with more dirt than was there before.
Regardless of who you are or where you come from, ignoring this issue leaves the lives of countless human beings at risk of being lost and I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to take that risk.
Let's stop making excuses for the abusers and start raising our voices for the abused.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (quite fittingly) so if you're interested in donating to charities that spread awareness of domestic violence, or simply would like to further educate yourself on the topic, you can do so here:
NoMore
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Refuge
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
ManKind Initiative
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| Break Free Campaign Poster |
Written by: Ana Luz Jayme