OUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND WE WILL CRY IF WE WANT TO

More often than not we tend to think that we are not valid in our feelings of hurt, betrayal, sadness, or even anger.  We’re selfless in the sense that we don’t think we are justified in our hurt feelings when we could’ve had it much worse. What we fail to realize however, is that we are human and what we feel is real and we are entitled to those feelings. We are allowed to be upset with someone. We are allowed to feel something other than happiness in a relationship. Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you that you shouldn’t be crying after a rough day because they’ve “had an even worse day”. Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you your feelings are insignificant or minuscule. Don’t ever let anyone try to undermine what you are feeling. 

We cannot control how we feel, that much is true. However, we CAN control how we respond to these feelings. We can control how we heal ourselves. Whenever we’re hurt or angry with someone we tend to gravitate towards retaliation: we want to hurt the person who hurt us back. It may seem like it would help, hurting the one that hurt you but it doesn’t trust me I know. There will be a brief moment of satisfaction, the person who hurt you is experiencing the same pain you did, but the realization that you’re no better than the other person is somehow worse than the initial pain you felt before. In the end there are two hurt people and a lot of regret on your side, the retaliation side. 

I am a strong believer in the saying,” Everything happens for a reason.” The failed relationship, the job you interviewed for and didn’t get, the problems you are facing in your family right now, they’re all events in your life that are making you a stronger, enlightened individual. Bad things in life are like… working out. We all hate it, its painful and it makes us feel miserable, but after a while it all pays off because you’re healthier…you’re stronger.

There are many ways in which one can heal and you have every right to choose your method of healing (as long as it’s not compromising your life or your safety).

1. Volunteering

One of many self-healing alternatives is volunteer work. You can go online and look up the nearest shelters and volunteer there. One of my friends volunteers at a women’s help center and she says it’s a very humbling, healing, and safe place for her to be in. She enjoys reaching out and doing whatever she can for those women who were brave enough to go out and seek help.

2. Having a Friends Night In/Out

Going out with your best friends to a party, movie, bowling alley is a great pick me up. If you’re not really into the nightlife scene a movie night at home with TONS of junk food suffices as well. Your friends are your chosen family, they know practically everything about you and they aren’t judgmental about it. A night with them is exactly what can help make you feel better.

3. Writing

Writing has always been my go to healing method. There’s something comforting about writing down everything that’s going on in your head and coming to a conclusion about something you may have not come to otherwise. Some of my favorite pieces I’ve written have stemmed from nights where I was a mess of emotions.

4. Reading

Escaping into another world for a couple hours is always nice. Reading offers a mental vacation from the situation at hand. It may also provide clarity you may need.

5. Surrounding Yourself With Supportive People

If you don’t take anything away from this piece please take this. I cannot stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with supportive, positive people. If you are going through a hard time, if you are hurting, you cannot keep selfish, negative people in your life. They are only going to hinder your growth. It’s important you keep people who want the very best for you and support your decisions in your life.

If you’re hurting or know someone who is hurting please contact someone for help.

Alcohol Abuse

(800)-NCA-CALL or (800) 622-2255

Domestic Violence

(800) 799-SAFE or (800) 799-7233

Drugs

(800) 662-HELP or (800) 662-4357

Eating Disorders

(800) 931-2237

Gay/Lesbian Issues

(888)-THE-GLNH or (888) 843-4564

Grief Support & Education

(650) 321-5272

Planned Parenthood

(800) 230-PLAN or (800) 230-7526

Rape & Sexual Assault

(800) 656-HOPE or (800) 656-4673

Runaway

(800) 843-5200

Self-Injury

(800)-DONT-CUT or (800) 366-8288

Suicide

(800)-273-TALK or (800) 273-8255

Written by: Kimberly Santana
Photo: x