I am a seventeen year old girl who has never been asked to homecoming, never had a boyfriend, and to top off my resume, never been kissed. I’m as rare as they come, call me a unicorn if you’d like. But I’m writing this in order to tell you that I am perfectly okay with it.
Do you remember when you used to say that your first kiss was going to be this iconic moment in your life and you tried so hard to plan it to be the perfect moment? Now…how did that work out for you?
Your first kiss was probably in middle school, and even more disappointing, probably AT your middle school. Well, I still have that dream alive. I have the opportunity to change that for myself because I was looked upon as undesirable in middle school. Which is ridiculous because who wouldn’t want to date the thirteen year old me? People look back at their first kisses and wonder why they didn’t share it with someone they care about. Kisses are weird in general, because it will always be more special to one person than it is to the other. For example, whenever the day comes that I do kiss someone, it will be nothing to the guy I kiss other than just another girl and to me, it will be an important memory.
I’m not sure when it became a social standard to always have to be asked to school dances. I also don’t know when every girl who hadn’t been in a relationship was looked down upon as if they were a different species. The way a girl feels about herself in social standing should not be based on the people she is involved with.
Whether it is a football player, and musician, or no one. Not being in a relationship should not be looked at like a person is unworthy or undesirable. In my opinion, girls who haven’t been in a relationship should feel like people are afraid of them. Afraid in the sense that they are too good for the petty relationships that most high school students are involved in.
I’ve been to three homecoming dances in the past three years, and this year I’ll attend my school’s dance again. And just like the past three years, I will be my own picture date. I won’t have a corsage picked out by my date’s mother but instead, a real smile on my face. I will smile a real smile because I’m more than comfortable with myself. There won’t be a guy standing next to me in a color that doesn’t exactly match my dress but is close enough to clash my entire look. And I won’t have to worry about the height of my shoes in order to not be taller than my date.
Some nights I feel sorry for myself because I don’t have a boyfriend or someone interested in me in general. But then I remember that I was not put on this earth to beg for a boyfriend. My goal in life is not to be a trophy wife or to only be a caregiver or stay at home wife. I have ambition and I have determination; I will be stubborn and make it on my own.
One day I’ll get that kiss, and one day I’ll be in that first relationship, and I won’t have shallow self esteem or worries about someone else’s opinions of me. The only opinion I care about when it comes to me is my own.
My advice to all those boys and girls going stag to homecoming, embrace it. Look handsome and beautiful and show everyone what they are missing by being afraid to approach you. Build up your confidence and use those stilettos to step on anyone who tries to bring you down.
At least, that’s what they were made for. Am I right ladies?
Written by: Rafy Evans
Photo by: Rafy Evans
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